You know who you are: You broke Bill Maher's heart. It was sophomore year at Pascack Hills High School, and the awkward kid from River Vale was on top of the world. He was half-nerd (who ranked seventh in a class of 400-plus students), half-class-clown (whose a-little-too-edgy standup act forced the termination of the long-running school talent show). He recently referred to his high school years this way: "I was kind of a loser, certainly socially. And you can't get mad at the boss or be in a bad mood for eight hours.He was trying to fit in, like every high school kid, and he had a girlfriend — that bulletproof vest for the male ego against the social ammunition of the painful teen years. "Raising kids is tough, but you can tell them to 'Shut the (heck) up, I'm going to watch this soap opera. In a 25-minute interview, Maher touched on several Jersey topics, like the governor ("He's great for material. I'm going to look in my files and see how bad it was. And just for the record: He still remembers you — even now, when he's a standup comedy star, even now when he's making tens of millions of dollars eye-poking Rush Limbaugh, lampooning Fox News pundits and shaping American political thought on his HBO show, "Real Time." Look, the guy is huge. As far as being a mom, you can do that in your bathrobe. You have to get out of bed, in the cold, get the car started, and get out the door at 7 a.m. Now, we're not saying you blew it, but if you get a message from him sometime, say "hi" back. The guy can get President Obama on the phone like that. "I often hear from people, 'Boy, Fox is (giving you a hard time) this week,' " Maher said. ' And then I hear what it was, and I think, 'This is what they're fired up about? All I was saying was that getting out of the house is different.
The truth is, Maher never provided the name — but you know who you are, Class of 1974's Most Likely To Break A Future Celebrity's Heart.
"That would be creepy." Okay, maybe he's not really that crushed.
There are times when I like him because he doesn't speak like a politician, but there are times when he is infuriating."); his childhood ("I had the last 'Leave It to Beaver' upbringing in America."); a New Jersey friend he has kept since kindergarten ("I was the best man at his wedding. That hurts."); and a sister who teaches at Bergen County Community College.
That old friend, attorney Scott Tross, said (despite the so-so toast) Maher "was always the funniest guy in the room growing up, and that hasn't changed." Maher said he hasn't forgotten his roots because "somebody wise once said, 'You can never get any new old friends.' " But enough of Maher's sensitive side, which he usually saves for family and animals.
The show promises his usual caustic (and sometimes wincingly profane) style of political wit that cuts through the usual blue-team, red-team soft tissue to nick bones, and not just those belonging to conservatives.